Alone with my thoughts, sitting in the dark. He lies next to me for the last time, and I realize this is the end. No more fairy-tale, this is what loss feels like. I tiptoe to our master bath and sob into my face towel. That was the last time. I'm too independent to be seen as a damsel in distress and yet here I was secretly hoping he would save me. But the truth is, she was the only one who could. They say you don't know what you've got until it's gone and it's so true. You see while I was busy catorting, she was losing her grasp. While I was busy folding for the world around me, she was fading. A part of me knew she was holding on by a thread, but I wanted this life oh so bad. Mom. Wife. Lover. Partner. Bossbabe. Daughter. Sister. Aunt. Friend. Colleague. Confidant. Comfortable. Convenient. Ciera. Barely. I went dark for a few months. Immersed myself in motherhood, overcompensating for the inevitable; Doubled down at work overachieving so noone coul