Sweatshirts and Pearls

"Strong enough to bear the children and get back to business," after all it must be true since Beyonce said it. But are we? I will be the first to admit I am not....at least not yet. My son is 52 days young. I am enjoying my time with him, watching him giggle and get excited when I sing to him, and our special moments when he is nuzzled on my chest as I rock him to sleep. He enjoys hearing the ABC's [I sign the letters too] and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. We spell his name (verbally and with ASL) and encourage him to speak....As you can imagine, I am dreading the day I have to return to work. I am not ready to "get back to business" just yet. I still have bonding to do with my precious baby boy. I have been a ball of emotions the past few days and of course I shed a few tears (but you already knew that). As I mentally try to prepare myself for what is going to happen in the next couple of weeks, I can't help but be a bit anxious. I knew we would have ...

I know you've probably heard about "Post Partum Depression" aka "Baby Blues" where the mother is a hormonal mess after delivering the baby... well this post is dedicated to all of that and then some; aka post partum hues. [See what I did there?] I will break down the hues using our friend Roy G. Biv. R-is for Red. Yes. Red. You are frustrated probably because the Birth Plan you had, went out the window and or the doctor you wanted to deliver your child was not on call that day. It happens. I was red, because after 4 weeks, the scar from my unplanned c-section is not completely healed and in fact I had to go back to the doctor because the stitch knot loosened and a shallow part of the wound is open. I never thought I'd have to have a c-section but I did. My doctor was on call, but Brayden decided to stay put, so her shift was over by the time he made his debut. The doc that did deliver Brayden is pretty awesome tho, so I didn't mind. O- is for...

I woke up early on June 29th [2016], the plan was to accompany Brian to Alexandria for the day. However, as you know my plans do not happen the way I anticipate. I felt a trickle of liquid and after several trips to the bathroom, I was sure my water broke and that I did not have a 2year old accident. I didn't feel any contractions so, I figured we had some time. What's a girl to do when she's in labor and the contractions aren't heavy???! You guessed it. Put your game face on... no eyeliner though. I heard pain was going to be a beast and I'm a crier. Don't need raccoon eyes in my son's pics. I mentioned to Brian that maybe we should just go about our day and wait until the contractions got bad, but of course you can never be too sure. I didn't want to be on the side of 66East in labor. So after I finished getting ready, we headed to the hospital. I called my mom, Brian called his mom and they both made it to NOVA in record time only to be told th...

After the events of the past week (#AltonSterling #PhilandoCastille #Dallas #Atlanta) my heart is heavy.  Not to say that I haven't felt this before, but this time it was different. Perhaps because not only do I have brothers, cousins, friends, and a BF to consider when the topic of Black male lives are at hand; I have a son.  Today my son is 12 days young. He is the perfect 7 pounds 15 oz. He smiles in his sleep and is comforted at the sound my voice. I. Have. A. Son. His life matters to me. To his father. To his family. I believe that he will be a good citizen and serve his community. I also know that because of the color of his skin there is a chance he will be judged. This is not okay. Of all the things I've done in my life, he is my greatest accomplishment. I am a sister, a daughter, a girlfriend, a Black woman, but most importantly now, I am a mother. The past few days I have spent looking at my son and crying. I prayed over his life before he entered this cruel wo...

I am officially 40 weeks today and Brayden clearly has not gotten the memo that mommy and daddy want him to make his grand entrance. As one could imagine, I am BEYOND done being pregnant. Since my last post at 36 weeks I have had several appointments and emotional moments. Hormones are still very much a factor in my daily life. Second trimester was interesting, but third trimester definitely takes the cake. And no it's not lemon cake with butter cream frosting. I am up right now at 430 am, because yet again I cannot sleep. For the last month, I have "slept" in a weird sitting up position. Trying to lay on either side is unbearable due to the SPD (which I did confirm with the doc that I do have) and the fact that my 8lb son finds it amusing to hang out under my rib cage and kick my stomach, therefore giving me nausea and indigestion. I am still eating Tums like skittles. I am still vomiting on average twice a week and at this point I am literally swollen from the waist do...

The countdown is real.... 36 weeks, measuring 38 weeks. Brayden is bigger than 70% of babies at this stage. The normal range is 4.5-5lbs; he is 6.1 +/- 14oz. Basically 7lbs already. He has a healthy heartbeat and is still very active. The docs are not concerned about his health and this makes me happy. They also moved his due date to 23 June so we have less than 30 days. My cravings: Fresh fruit (plums, peaches, and watermelon); strawberry banana smoothies; frosted flakes/honey combs; and waffles. How I feel: On a scale of one to ten .. most days I'm at a six or seven. I try not to complain too much. Other days the tears stream down my cheek and I'm taking Tylenol to make it through the day. Due to my hips not being properly aligned and a high pelvis bone (I was doing physical therapy prior to pregnancy) the round ligament pain started at three months. Most women experience this between six-seven months. I truly believe I have Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD). ...

I was 17 years old walking the campus of James Madison University, headed to my dorm (Eagle), and I stopped at the top of what was then D-Hall steps and said to myself  ' wow, this is real life, I am a college student.'  I was so proud in that moment. First generation to go away to a four year institute, first of the five to leave the nest and join the military. I had a plan for my life and I was determined to succeed. If you had asked me then, where I saw myself in five years, I would have said something along the lines of   "I'll be 22, I'll have my Bachelor and Master Degrees, and work for DoD." Needless to say, that didn't work out quite as I planned. I was deployed at age 20, finished my Bachelors Degree at 23 and completed my Masters Degree at 27.  You would think I would have learned from that experience to be a lot more flexible in my plans or should I say ideas, because ultimately it's His plan..... I didn't. At 25, I thought I'd...

32. The number of weeks I am currently. 07. The number of days I have been exhausted this week. 03. The number of times I've cried this week. 03. Also the number of times I've cooked this week. 02. The number of times I've been "sick." 02. Also the number of dresses I tried on this week, that no longer fit. This is the story of my life. I am super pregnant and growing by the day. To be constantly reminded that my belly is huge and or asked if I am having twins at least once a week is becoming annoying. Let me give you a list of the things I've heard:                                                             -Wow, you're due in June?! You won't make it. -Oh my, that's a big baby. -Are you sure, there's just one? -Are you having twins? -You look like you're going to pop? -Your boobs aren't sagging enough, you sure it's a b...

The count down continues. Here lately, I've been a little more anxious; time is winding down and I feel like I have so much to do. As you have read, Brayden's nursery theme is "Mommy and Daddy love you tons/ a ton"🐘<elephants> The colors are navy blue, yellow, and grey. I have been pinning to my heart's content different ideas for his room. I found some pretty great stuff too. In a previous post, I mentioned I was painting letters for his nursery. I still haven't attached the string to hang them.... yea idk what I'm waiting for either. Oh yea wait. Energy. I lack it. I decided not to reupholster the chair, after looking at Youtube, I figured this isn't a project I could do while in my third trimester, so instead, the plan is to use a slip cover. Then I realized it doesn't fit in the nursery with the crib/changing table, TV, and twin bed.  I didn't want to remove the bed, because that's for his grandmothers when they visit. It...

Before I jump in with this week's post, I want to say thank you to my readers. This has been a  real journey, and although I am not sharing every little detail, I am sharing my personal experience. You all have been very supportive via the comments or personal texts and phone calls. I appreciate that I can use this platform to get things off my chest while simultaneously creating a documentary for my little one. This post is another tough subject, because after all each of us have our own daily struggles.  If you just want the results of the glucose test, just scroll to the bottom. :-) I'm told that every pregnancy is different and every body handles pregnancy in the manner that is intended for that individual (again God doesn't make mistakes). That being said, as carriers/protectors/hosts for your growing parasite now human at 30 weeks, it is imperative that we take responsibility for our health and well being as it will effect our baby. Poor eating habit...