Skip to main content

She isn't Ready

"Strong enough to bear the children and get back to business," after all it must be true since Beyonce said it.
But are we?
I will be the first to admit I am not....at least not yet.

My son is 52 days young. I am enjoying my time with him, watching him giggle and get excited when I sing to him, and our special moments when he is nuzzled on my chest as I rock him to sleep. He enjoys hearing the ABC's [I sign the letters too] and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. We spell his name (verbally and with ASL) and encourage him to speak....As you can imagine, I am dreading the day I have to return to work. I am not ready to "get back to business" just yet. I still have bonding to do with my precious baby boy. I have been a ball of emotions the past few days and of course I shed a few tears (but you already knew that).

As I mentally try to prepare myself for what is going to happen in the next couple of weeks, I can't help but be a bit anxious. I knew we would have to resort to daycare, so I did my due diligence and searched for the best. I found it. The staff is very experienced and there are cameras and Brian and I can get real-time updates. The daycare offers developmental programs for infants and the student to teacher ratio is 1:3. Security protocols are in place to ensure my baby boy is safe, and they are clean. Mama always said, cleanliness is next to Godliness.

I must constantly remind myself that the daycare we chose is a great place and that Brayden will be just fine. It's just as a FTM, I am having a hard time leaving my son. But who wouldn't have a hard time leaving this face???



As time goes on I am sure I will become more acclimated to my reality, but for now I will be praying I don't have a melt down my first day back on the job.











Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sweatshirts and Pearls

I never realized that even after eight years in the military I still somehow gravitated towards a uniform. Not just any uniform, specific articles and accessories that make me feel like I’m ready to take on the day. No matter if I feel good, bad, or indifferent, my pearl earrings make every outfit public appropriate. I feel naked without them. I even workout wearing smaller versions of them. O_o Accented with my favorite necklace, (a single strand of round pearl beads worn by my mother on her wedding day); my pearls can bring any outfit to life. Even a basic sweatshirt. If I had to choose, some variety of a sweatshirt would be in my top five article of clothing. They are comfortable and warm and when paired with the perfect jean or legging BOOM!  You have an outfit ready to run errands (the bank, the mall, and Wal-Mart), visit friends and family (Homecoming and the 3.5 hour drive to Northumberland), or simply lounge around the house on a Sunday afternoon, sipping Northern Ne...
9 comments
Read more

No Changing the Uniform

I recall telling my coffee writer friend that I wanted to start a blog to document my motherhood journey. Trying to come up with an appropriate name, I listed all of the things that make me who I am. All kinds of random words were on the list to include Army, organization, singing, green, manicure, sweatshirts, and pearl earrings.  Playing the name game was fun I must admit. Creating is a favorite pastime. In October 2015 SweatshirtsAndPearls was born... oddly enough the same month and year I realized I was brow less, but that’s another topic for another day. My very first post covered my subconscious transition from one uniform to the next while consciously transitioning from Ciera to Mama. Vera Wang said, “A woman is never sexier, than when she is comfortable in her clothes,” and I have to agree. On one of the most emotional days of my life (telling my parents I was pregnant) I chose my new uniform: A Sweatshirt, Yoga Pants, and Pearl jewelry. In Jan 2020, it’s still my prefe...
Post a Comment
Read more

Drink Champagne and Dance on the Table

Unlike years past, there was nothing planned for my birthday. Literally, I said I will see how I feel in reference to making plans on the Saturday before #CiDay. Who are you? And where is Ciera? You know the one who plans like her life depends on it. She is still around just taking a much needed bird's eye view.  You see this last year has been something special. Running into to thirty full-throttle did something for her well-being. It was exactly the kind of year she wanted. A YEAR OF YES. Last year's mantra was about living with intention, living out loud. It was a drastic change from the normal organize/prepare, plan, contingency plan, and execute.... On one hand, I hired a travel agent, planned and had a contingency for traveling to the Bahamas, and then on the other I literally hopped in a car and rode to Canada just because; and it was a blast. I've had champagne and I danced on the table in my dreams, why not in-real-life? I have never been at that level of spont...
Post a Comment
Read more